THE GIFT THAT GIVES

Maybe I say this too often but I can't seem to say it enough:  I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who have good hearts.

I wasn't able to write about this but last November, Joaquin had a small birthday party at an orphanage inside our village.  Since December was coming, I decided to ask each of the kids what they wanted for Christmas.  I sent the list to my family, co-workers and friends (online and offline) via facebook and email, and in less than a week, each kid had a "Santa". On top of that, diapers, milk and rice donations started pouring in.

On the day of the Christmas Party I prepared for the kids of St. Mary's Home, this was how the back of my car looked like. And this sight made me cry buckets. So much love packed at the back of my car.

A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a good friend who is based in Singapore.  Our birthdays are just a couple of days apart and she wanted to know what my plans were and if I could help her donate a chunk of her birthday money to St. Mary's Home. Why of course! Told her that I could also organize a small birthday party for the both of us with the kids. I mentioned that I would also like to help a Home for the Elderly and she agreed.

I sent her a message today to tell her that I already spoke to the nun in charge of the home for the aged and that she asked me to call her back tonight.  My friend replies and says that she wired the birthday money to my account.

She sent me 20 freaking thousand pesos. 

This was how our chat conversation went:

Me: ANG LAKI!

Friend: haha sakto lang yan, may nareceive din kasi akong bonus

Me: aaww, napressure ako sayo! Hahaha!

Friend: Ano ka ba, mas mahirap gagawin mo. Ako nagbigay lang. Ikaw magaayos.

Me: Mahirap ba mag-shopping at mag-party? HINDI ATA!

Friend: Mahirap saakin yan!

Me: Tag team talaga tayo forever!

God is good, life is good.  It's going to be a great birthday.

This is Matthew, one of the kids of St. Mary's Home. I can't wait to see him and the others again!

CONGRATULATIONS, JOAQUIN!

I'm so proud of you, my love.

 So proud that it makes me kind of proud of me, too.

May you be braver, happier and smarter.  I promise to be with you every step of the way.

The world is yours for the taking!

SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME

2002. Or 2003. I can't remember anymore.  All I know is that my boyfriend had just dropped me off from my friend, Kookie's birthday in Grilla, Makati and there, parked on the street across from my house was my ex. The Ex.

I can't remember the last time I spoke to him but for the past couple of months he had been texting and calling me and I did nothing but pretend he didn't exist.  I was working for a clothing store in Rockwell then and he was in law school in Ateneo which was in the same area.  I would sometimes see him pace back and forth the facade of the store searching for me but I would bend my head down and pretend to be engrossed in work.

We were both in serious relationships with other people and it just didn't seem right to still stay in touch or see each other.

"What are you doing here?", I asked.

"Buns, I'm getting married tomorrow. She's pregnant. I've been wanting to talk to you but you have obviously been ignoring me."

Congratulations! You're going to be a dad and a husband!, I answered.

"It should have been you. It should have been you", he said over and over again.

I looked at him and was surprised to see that he was crying (I've never seen him cry before) and not really surprised because I have always felt that he loved me.

"Tell me I'm wrong, tell me that I'm making a mistake by marrying her tomorrow and I won't do it."

Still couldn't muster the courage to say anything.

"It should have been you, Buns. It should have been you."

He put his arms around me, and I could feel the light sobs pounding through his chest, but I couldn't find it in my heart to hug him back.

He gave me one last hug and then he drove away.

And that's when I cried.
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I wish I could say that this didn't really happen, that this was a scene from a screenplay I once wrote.  But it did happen.  I was looking for something in one of my drawers at home this morning and an old picture of me and him surfaced and this particular memory did too.

I've never written about it and only very few people know.  But in the spirit of Valentine's (hey's it's still February!), I'm going to let it out.

He married her.  Of course he did.  And for a couple of years, I thought about that moment all the time. Wondered if I made the right decision.  Wondered what would have happened if I told him not to marry her.

Because much as I don't want to admit it, he was my greatest love. Still is.

All I can tell you is that this is a chapter in the book of my life that has remained shut for so long and I intend to keep it that way.

Something in the universe just told me to take a little peek today so I can share it with you.

SPRING CLEANING

Do you love my new URL?

I do i do i dooooo!!!  I was lucky it was still available. O tiba, meant to be!

I am also overjoyed by the number of e-mails I received from readers asking me for the new URL of my blog.  May nagbabasa pa pala. I was really surprised. *kilig*

Aside from changing my blog's URL, I also changed my mobile number a few weeks ago.  Let's just say I'm "spring cleaning" my life.  Time to weed out people who bring nothing but bad vibes!

Like the former blog, it was hard to let go of my old number, I've had that for years.  But some chapters must end. Ties must be cut. Doors must be shut.  Some people have no more room in my life and I want to make darn sure they don't ever come knocking again.

The peace of mind I am currently getting is soooo worth it.

Wag na magpafeel ang mga charoterang isprikitik! (If you haven't seen Zombadings, WHY? Hahaha!)

And have I told you that I'm inlove? *kilig again*

Ayieeeee!!! ♥  I shall make kwento soon.

My little one is doing great.  He is currently obsessed with the piano. If he's not hitting the keys of the real one (we have one at home pero medyo sira sira na), he plays with this app on the iPad.  In fairness to Joaquin, he can't read notes and I really can't say that he knows what he's doing BUT his "music" has a melody ha.

My future Mozart

When I got home last night, I went straight to the kitchen to drop off my lunch box.  Joaquin was already in the room getting ready for bed.  Anyway, I headed back to the living room where my cousin was and he goes:

Cousin: You didn't notice anything when you got in?
Me: Notice what?
Cousin: Hahaha! Joaquin's new pet?
Me: What pet? Where is the kitten???
Cousin: Right in front of you!

And true enough, it was right there on our table.  Tiny tiny black and white furball.

I knew right away the pet my cousin was talking about was a kitten because our neighbor's cat, Chloe gave birth a few weeks ago and my son has been sneaking off to their house every now and then to visit the, what he calls, "kitty kitties".  His Ate L told me once that Joaquin cried going home because he wanted to take the kittens to bed with him.

I hope our helper remembered to return the kitten this morning. It's too tiny. I don't think the kitten which Joaquin has decided to name after his/her mother (he pronounces it Cwowie. Buyuy!) is ready to be detached from his/her mom.  I also don't feel that my son is ready to take care of another living thing.

So there. I'm ecstatic that I can write freely again.  I missed this.

HAPPY HAPPY WEEKEND TO ALL OF YOU!