WALA LANG

I know I mentioned before that I still read my old blog (that's how much I LOVE IT).

I was reading an entry I wrote for my 25th birthday and this was part of it:

"I'll remember that everything I really need I already have and whatever I don't have will come to me when I am ready to receive."- from Will and Grace

I just thought I'd remind myself again :)

I CAN!

I told my mom about what happened to my marriage a few days ago. She seemed to understand but being Mama, she reminded me to think about my decision very very well. Being me, I told her that I've made up my mind.

After saying that, she said, "O sha! Magpapayat ka na!". Funny, Mama.

Today I got an email from my Stepdad. This is part of the email:

Mama is worried about you. I am not. I know you can take care of yourself.

I'm not super duper close to my Stepdad but we get along pretty well and when we talk, we talk. I'm glad that he believes in me. ♥

45 LESSONS LIFE TAUGHT ME

My stepdad emailed this to me a couple of days ago and I liked it so I thought I'd share. It was written by Regina Brett:

45 LESSONS LIFE TAUGHT ME by Regina Brett

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple..

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30.. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

BREAKING POINT

When I said the "for better or for worse" part of my wedding vow, I should have asked God, "How worse is worse?"

I'll spare you the details but,

Do you stay even when you are repeatedly being accused of cheating even when you have not done absolutely anything to make him believe so? (Hellooo, ang taba taba ko kaya! Haha!)

Do you stay even when he no longer respects you?

Do you stay even when he has done something so disrespectful, you cringe and shudder in disgust at the thought of it.

I can't. I. JUST. CAN'T. TAKE. IT. ANYMORE.

So V and I are going separate ways. This didn't end amicably. Maybe one day, we can get over this and be friends. But for now, well, now is just a different story.

People have suggested counseling but I know myself. I know that respect and trust have always been very, very important to me. They are my relationship deal-breakers. You lose one of those and it's downhill from there. And the climb back up is practically impossible.

I'm a happy person. I find things to be happy about even when I'm majorly sad. (insert song: Smile, though your heart is breaking...) I've always been very optimistic so I don't think I can still be with someone who walks around with a chip (more like a block) on his shoulder.

It's been too much. It's sad, I know. But I've had the last straw. If I don't do this for myself, my sanity is at stake.

I am finding strength in Joaquin. And knowing that my family and my friends will always always be there for me even if some of them might disagree with my decision.

So there. Somewhat relieved that the cat is out of the bag.

(And that my comments are moderated. HA!)

BIG CHANGE

I haven't really posted anything serious or heartfelt in a while. Believe me, I've wanted to. So many times. But was worried that they were too personal. I've considered locking the blog, making it accessible to only a few readers. But, I dunno...I'm still thinking about it.

A lot of you don't know that I've been going through a lot the past year. And for the past couple of weeks, I've been contemplating and deliberating on something that will greatly change my life because, well--I've had the last straw. I can't stress how important it is that I make the right decision because it will also change Joaquin's life.

I pretty much know what to do already. A lot of people will be shocked and will probably disagree. But I really need to this or else, I would go crazy. I have come thisclose to pulling my hair out of sheer frustration the past year. I am hoping that people close to me will be open-minded enough to understand.

It's going to be rather difficult but I know I can endure it.

Finalizing everything over the weekend(hopefully) as I want to get this over and done with already.

Onto happier things, I've been looking forward to the weekend since Monday (Haha!). I have 2 parties to attend on Saturday--my officemate's birthday party and a bridal shower!

Talk to you guys soon!

Love joaquin's shoes! Inside the checks are little skulls. We are on our way to fun ranch for joaquin's haircut.

WHATS UP!

Hello! How is 2010 treating you so far?

I am off to a pretty bumpy but hopeful start. I am now managing a UK account and so my schedule changed. And since it's a new account, my team and I are going through a lot of, well--birth pains.

Joaquin turned 3 November last year and he is sooo not a baby anymore (as you can see below). He is a happy, chatty kid who likes to run, run and run. A couple years more and I can have him join his first marathon. Haha!



He will also start pre-school in June at the same pre-school I and a few of my childhood friends went to. We turned out okay so I'm confident my son will do great!

New Year's Resolution: Post a blog entry every week :)

By the way, if you're on twitter, let's follow each other? www.twitter.com/bunnyc

Ciao!

SHAPES AND SONGS

Joaquin identifying some shapes:


Singing "Wheels on the Bus" with me:


Notice how he likes to jump around? That is the kind of ruckus I go through everyday before he takes his afternoon nap and before he goes to bed at night. Sooo much eneergy!

KAPAL!

The Philippine president made news at The New York Post for spending $20,000 dollars on dinner at Le Cirque in NY.

$20,000!!! 20,000 x 47.80 = Php956,000.

That's close to a million pesos, man.

No wonder her husband looks like a hog.

Here's a theoretical breakdown of the tab based on Le Cirque's menu. Because, really--how do you spend 1 million pesos on food alone in one night?!


In a country where poverty is the main problem, the $20,000 could have been used for much much much better things.

Sad.

YELLOW IS LOVE

Conrado de Quiros is really an amazing writer. Always straight to the point. Always hits a mark.

Loved what he wrote on his column yesterday.

Monuments - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

“I am announcing today that we will officially observe a 10-day period of national mourning,” said President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

Is this a gesture of grace? No, it is a gesture of disgrace.
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A state funeral has no meaning today. It can only be carried out by a government that has no right to exist to escort true heroes to the Libingan ng mga Bayani, or the Tomb of the Heroes, half of whose occupants are scoundrels, decreed to lie in state there by the people who lie in State.
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Do you really need anybody, however less galling, to tell you to grieve Cory’s passing?
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This was a leader the people wanted to speak for them—in death as in life. This was what a leader meant, not one who has the lie of her deeds greeted with canned applause or, what is but the same thing, the applause of congressmen. This was what a true leader meant, one who had the truth of her life greeted with the embrace of heaven or, what is but the same thing, the gratefulness of a nation.
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The only monuments that last forever are those you build in the heart.

And I can't help but wonder...

When it's GMA's "time", will the nation mourn?

I think not.