BREAKING UP WITH A FRIEND

A couple of years ago I stopped talking to a very good friend because in the middle of a very stressful personal situation, he hung up on me.  I texted him right after to tell him how bad I felt that he would hang up on me at a time like that and he never replied.  Not even the next day or the week after. Before I knew it, a year had already gone by.

I still think about the kind of friendship I shared with him from time to time--of what a shame it is that he would just throw it all away like that.

I got a facebook message from him this year asking me if I was still mad. I didn't reply.  A few days before Christmas, he messaged me again saying, "Advance Merry Christmas". I still didn't reply.  On Christmas day, he sends me another message greeting me a Merry Christmas.  And yep, you guessed right--I still didn't reply.

Our common friends have been asking me why I haven't bothered to reply when he is obviously reaching out. And I tell them the same thing--If he can type something as long as "Merry Christmas", I'm pretty sure "Sorry" wouldn't require so much effort.

But then again, the latter would also require lowering something he has so much of: PRIDE. And if it has to take someone 2 years to message a friend who has always been there for him, I mean, really--what kind of a friend is that?

And no, don't even get me started on the whole real-friends-don't-need-to-say-sorry crap.  Manners are manners, period.

Among all those who have done me wrong, his was the only apology I was still hoping to receive.  And I guess that's one of the reasons why I never unfriended him on Facebook. But, well.

They say life gets easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.  And looking back at the 2 years that we haven't been friends, I have gotten by very well.  I almost had the urge to call him a couple of nights ago and ask him out for drinks.  Just to thank him for reaching out.  But mostly to remind him why we are no longer friends, to let him know how awful I felt that day he abandoned me by hanging up on me in the midst of my distress. Just to let him know for one final time that so much time has passed and that I don't think we can ever be friends again, ever.

After all, time heals all wounds and as of date, the wounds I have incurred from that fateful day have already turned into scars--scars which I can no longer even see, unless I look very, very closely.

Maybe I should just send him this entry, noh?