LEMONADE, ANYONE?

I try very hard not to let my personal life get in the way of work.

I can't recall a single time I took a leave because I was heartbroken. Heck, when J passed away and my boss urged me to go on leave, I told her I'd rather work than stay at home and sob myself to death.

I am also peeved by people who cry over something at work. It annoys me whenever I reprimand a subordinate and they turn on the waterworks.

But 3 weeks ago, I cried over work. I know I mentioned in a previous entry that my team was doing very poorly last month and we were hoping to start this month with a bang. But we were off to an even rockier start as opposed to last month. We were way behind the forecast I had made for June.

And today, our boss got super mad at us. As in fist-banging-on-the-table-while-yelling-and-face-turning-red mad. It has been a long time since I saw her that upset.

This is making me feel incompetent and insufficient. And I cried again (I know! Emo, much?) while talking to a colleague who casually dropped my desk to ask me how my weekend went. I know my boss and our client thinks that thats one of the factors why my team is struggling. I never considered myself a great leader but I've always believed that I was a good one. Until today.

I can't decide if it's because the challenges I am going through in my personal life are starting to overwhelm and affect me or if it's because I'm just plain lousy.

All I know is, I'm feeling really down right now.

But I'm hoping to get past this. And prove all those who think I'm not good enough wrong.

Bring on the lemons!