Interviewed an applicant today,

Me: What do you do during your free time? Any hobbies or interests? Do you play a sport?
Applicant: I like to read e-books.
Me: Oh that's nice.  What kind of books do you read?
Applicant: Real-life stories and romance novels.
Me: Ah, so you're a lover or fiction and non-fiction. So what's your ultimate favorite book?
Applicant: Fiction.

*facepalm*

Eventually (after much prodding), she said her favorite book was entitled "The Diary" and she did not know the author.

Labo, men.!

THE GOAL

Hahahahaha!!!

Ang taba mo, 2009!

LOVE vs. FOOD

Was lined up at the counter of the 7-11 outside the village this morning when I heard 2 guys talking,

Guy 1: Pare, yung 100 pesos mo, ibili mo na lang ng pagkain kesa sa load.

Guy 2: Yung load pag may katext ka, kikiligin ka. Yung pagkain, wala.

Ahh, love wins. Always. 

SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME

2002. Or 2003. I can't remember anymore.  All I know is that my boyfriend had just dropped me off from my friend, Kookie's birthday in Grilla, Makati and there, parked on the street across from my house was my ex. The Ex.

I can't remember the last time I spoke to him but for the past couple of months he had been texting and calling me and I did nothing but pretend he didn't exist.  I was working for a clothing store in Rockwell then and he was in law school in Ateneo which was in the same area.  I would sometimes see him pace back and forth the facade of the store searching for me but I would bend my head down and pretend to be engrossed in work.

We were both in serious relationships with other people and it just didn't seem right to still stay in touch or see each other.

"What are you doing here?", I asked.

"Buns, I'm getting married tomorrow. She's pregnant. I've been wanting to talk to you but you have obviously been ignoring me."

Congratulations! You're going to be a dad and a husband!, I answered.

"It should have been you. It should have been you", he said over and over again.

I looked at him and was surprised to see that he was crying (I've never seen him cry before) and not really surprised because I have always felt that he loved me.

"Tell me I'm wrong, tell me that I'm making a mistake by marrying her tomorrow and I won't do it."

Still couldn't muster the courage to say anything.

"It should have been you, Buns. It should have been you."

He put his arms around me, and I could feel the light sobs pounding through his chest, but I couldn't find it in my heart to hug him back.

He gave me one last hug and then he drove away.

And that's when I cried.
------------------------

I wish I could say that this didn't really happen, that this was a scene from a screenplay I once wrote.  But it did happen.  I was looking for something in one of my drawers at home this morning and an old picture of me and him surfaced and this particular memory did too.

I've never written about it and only very few people know.  But in the spirit of Valentine's (hey's it's still February!), I'm going to let it out.

He married her.  Of course he did.  And for a couple of years, I thought about that moment all the time. Wondered if I made the right decision.  Wondered what would have happened if I told him not to marry her.

Because much as I don't want to admit it, he was my greatest love. Still is.

All I can tell you is that this is a chapter in the book of my life that has remained shut for so long and I intend to keep it that way.

Something in the universe just told me to take a little peek today so I can share it with you.

WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON

I love John Green (he's my current favorite author). I also love David Levithan of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.  So when I saw this book with both their names on the cover I just snatched it.

As the title suggests, it's a story about 2 teenage boys who share the same name.  That's pretty much the only thing they have in common but as luck would have it, their paths cross and suddenly their lives are intertwined.  

And then there's Tiny Cooper. Big, gay and shameless Tiny Cooper who is the real gem in this story. 

It's just brilliant how these 2 authors with different writing styles can collaborate and come up with something so seamless and well-blended.  Will Grayson, Will Grayson is honest, real and loaded with absolutely wicked humor. 

But what I loved most about this book was how it was filled with wonderful lessons on friendship--a theme I feel has been hard to find in most good books these days (it doesn't always have to be about true love).  I loved that the be-all and end-all of the story was not about someone performing a grand gesture or professing love.  It was simply about loving and accepting people who have always been there for you.

My favorite Will Grayson has to be Levithan's coz that kid is just all spunk. But credit has to be given to Green for the character that is Tiny Cooper.

Here are some pretty much all of my favorite quotes:

“Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you're afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt because it matters.” 

"I mean, Jesus, who even gives a fuck about sex?! People act like it's the most important thing humans do, but come on. How can our sentient fucking lives revolve around something slugs can do......You know what's important? Who would you die for? Who do you wake up at five forty-five in the morning for even though you don't even know why he needs you? Whose drunken nose would you pick?!” 

“this is why we call people exes, I guess - because the paths that cross in the middle end up separating at the end. it's too easy to see an X as a cross-out. it's not, because there's no way to cross out something like that. the X is a diagram of two paths.” 

“Being in a relationship, that's something you choose. Being friends, that's just something you are. . . [But] I do pick you. . . We've been friends too long to pick, but if we could pick, I'd pick you.” 

“All sorts of yayness floods my brain. Love is such a drug.” 

“Tiny Cooper is not the world's gayest person, and he is not the world's largest person, but I believe he may be the world's largest person who is really, really gay, and also the world's gayest person who is really, really large.”

“You know what’s a great metaphor for love? Sleeping beauty. Because you have to plow through this incredible thicket of thorns in order to get to beauty, and even then, when you get there, you still have to wake her up.

“The pure and simple truth 
Is rarely pure and never simple.
What's a boy to do
When lies and truth are both sinful?” 

“rolf! what? are you really rolling on the floor laughing? well, please stay down there for a sec while I KICK YOUR ASS.” 

"The things you hope for the most are the things that destroy you in the end."

“dating you would be like a series of unnecessary root canals interspersed with occasional makeout sessions.”

“Shouldn't letting go be painless if you've never learned how to hold on?”

"< 3 You think that looks like a heart? If you do, that's only because you've never seen scrotum.” 

“you’d think that silence would be peaceful. but really, it’s painful.” 

“Random questions are the least random of all questions.” 

"Being gay is not an excuse for being a dick.” 

“me: you know what sucks about love?
o.w.g.: what?
me: that it's so tied to the truth.” 

“I'm not asexual. I'm arelationshipal.” 

you know, how people say it's good luck if a bird shits on you? and people believe it! i just want to grab them and say, 'dude, don't you realize this whole superstition was made up because no one could think of anything else good to say to a person who'd just been shit upon?” 

“Compromise is when you do what I tell you and I do what I want."

"Hurt tends to drown out sorry."

“I just think if you don't say the honest thing, sometimes the honest thing never becomes true"

“there's no such thing as a fuck cure. a fuck cure is like the adult version of santa claus” 

"Need is never a good basis for a relationship. It has to be much more than that."

“You like someone who can’t like you back because unrequited love can be survived in a way that once-requited love cannot.” 

"Not that smart. Not that hot. Not that nice. Not that funny. That's me: I'm not that."

"I will admit there's a certain degree of giving a fuck that goes into not giving a fuck. By saying you don’t care if the world falls apart, in some small way you’re saying you want it to stay together, on your terms."

"This is what I never allow myself to need. And of course I've been needing it all along."

"1. Don’t care too much. 2. Shut up. Everything unfortunate that has ever happened to me has stemmed from failure to follow one of the rules."

"Some people have lives. Some people have music."

"She kisses like a sweet devouring and I don't know where to touch her because I want all of her."

"Anything that happens at once is just as likely to un-happen all at once."

Read the book, guys! It's worth it, I promise!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S!

Thanks to Skip To My Lou for the awesome printables which helped me with Joaquin's valentine gifts for his classmates and teachers!

And this is for my favorite co-workers!

Coz admit it or not, we all are.

                                 

I can't remember my last romantic Valentine's and that should probably make me a grouch by now but how could it when I have always felt loved. Love has and will always be around, if only we know where to look.

As for me, I feel overflowing love from my son, my family and my friends. I even feel it in the 'likes' I get on Facebook and Instagram. Or when strangers smile at you (not the manyak smile, ha.).  

Love is everywhere. Give it. Receive it.

Happy Valentine's, everyone!  Hope today makes you extra mushy and a little more giddy! Mwah!

----------------------------
"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."--The Beatles

MY FIRST 21K

A couple of days before my first half marathon, I posted on Facebook that my gameplan was to run like Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling were waiting for me at the finish line.

Well, well.

My 21k went off to a bad start.  My hydration belt fell at the beginning of the race (maybe I didn't strap it on tightly) and there was a slew of runners behind me so I had to stop, step aside and fix it.  3 kilometers later and I had to use the portalet to pee.

I tried to be oblivious to the fact that so many runners were going past me. I knew I could run faster but I also knew that doing that would just exhaust me so early on in the race.  During the first half of the run, I kept telling myself that:

1. This is my first 21k.
2. I am not competing with anyone, only with myself.
3. I must stick to my gameplan-- run at my own pace. (which is 8-9mins per kilometer)

Things started getting tricky during the last 7 kilometers.  I found myself reaching for the gummy bears I had brought with me.  My calves were getting stiff and each time the sole of my shoes would hit the pavement, I felt the blisters ballooning.

I saw a few runners at the side of road being attended to by medics.  Their legs were getting massaged and rubbed with ointment and I was jealous! Every muscle in my body was tempted to stop but I didn't.  I walked for a couple of minutes though because I recognizd the oh so familiar twinge of cramps creeping in. When I felt my legs relax, I ran again.

The official results came out today and I finished my first 21k in 3 hours and 11 minutes (kept my 9min/km pace, yippiee!).  I'm pretty proud because I was expecting to finish at 3:30.  If my hydration belt didn't fall and if I didn't have to go #1, then I would have finished earlier but still good, yeah? YEAH!

Seasoned runners probably have a deeper more intricate interpretation of finishing strong but I'd like to say I did because, hellooo, I can still walk! Hahaha!

Will I do it again? Hell yeah!  Will I run a full marathon next year? Hell.....not yet!

Tada! *pats myself on the back*