DEAR KARMA

Dear Karma,

I know you’re busy working and you have a lot of pending matters to attend to, but I was hoping you could find time to read this letter.

Could you maybe help me understand how your whole karmic law works exactly?  Correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t I be reaping what I sow?

I’m not rich so the only thing I sow is love.  Lots of it! I’d like to think that I’m a good daughter.  I obey my Mom even when I sometimes find myself disagreeing with her decisions. I love my sisters.  I’m always there for my friends. And seriously, I’m an awesome mother (coz I have an equally awesome son)! I’ve been raising Joaquin on my own for the past 3 years and I work my ass off to make ends meet.

 I don’t steal, don’t lie, and don’t hurt others. I try to help as many people as I can. I’ve made it a personal rule to give at least one person a sincere compliment everyday. I smile all the time and have been told to have an infectious laughter. Okay, I can be a little crazy—good crazy—BUT I am a genuinely nice person who believes in everyone’s innate goodness.  I’m no saint and I’m most definitely not perfect but in general, I’m pretty okay.  Sure I say cuss words now and then but, come on, these days, it’s kind of hard not to. And I don’t say it directly at people. It’s more of like an expression is all. 

I’m not saying that I’m not thankful for what I have and what has been given to me. I AM. SOOOO AM. I’m even more grateful for the wonderful people my life is surrounded with. Because what I reap from them is also tons of love.

What I’m saying is, I really believe in you, Karma.  I believe in the whole what-goes-around-comes-around bit. And growing up, my mom would always remind me that I should do to others what I want others do to me.  Simply put, if you’re good, nice things come your way.  If you’re bad, then expect the worst.  

Did I get that right, Karma?

Now I don’t want to keep you from what you should be doing so here goes--

Yesterday, I discovered a photo that turned a truth that I was told and I strongly believed in, into one big fat LIE.

If you remember, I was in a relationship sometime last year and it was a couple of months before year-end when things suddenly turned sour.  I had a hunch that there was another girl involved. (and I have met this girl.  No wonder she wasn't nice to me!)  But I was assured that nothing was going on, that they were just friends.  And because I was inlove, I decided to trust the guy more than my instincts. 

There were so many signs.A common friend of ours introduced me to her at an event and I gave her a cheerful "Hi!" and she acted like she didn't see or hear anything.  At the same event, I noticed that he hung out with her more than with me.  And he was just with her the night before.  Then there was that party at his house. We were holding hands, girl arrives, he lets go of my hand. I say hi to the girl and she gives me a blank stare. 

At a different party at his house, she was also there but she left early. We were talking about the current state of our relationship when his phone suddenly rang. He rejected the call.  Phone rings again. He rejects the call and tells me it was a patient.  It was 5 freaking A.M. Really? A patient? I should have known better.

We broke up over the phone. And if a person has call waiting, you can always tell if a person has a call coming in while you're talking to them.  I guess he isn't aware of this because while we were talking, someone else was calling him and he said to me "Can I call you back? I need to go to the bathroom."  This coming from a guy who would talk to me while he was doing #2.

Of course it's just now that I am piecing it all together.  It's only now that everything is becoming clear to me-- the harsh truth that I was played.  And what sucks is, this is not the first time he has done this to me. I should have known better.  Should have been smart enough to know that he was going to do the same thing he did to me 7 years ago.

For 2 months, he was cold and unloving and everyone who cared about me was telling me to jump ship but I stayed, hopeless romantic that I am.  (Now I realize that at that time, I was just plain hopeless).  And Karma, I have to stress that before we broke up and while we were breaking up, I asked him if there was someone else.  I asked him if he was thinking of someone else or if he was being closey-closey to anyone.  I guess I don't need to tell you his answer.

ALL THOSE LIES! Lies about him feeling that he can't commit or be in a relationship.  Lies about just wanting me to be his bestfriend.  Lies, lies, lies!

So last July 4, I saw a photo of them.  Holding hands, all chummy and happy. It was taken a month after we broke up.  Karma, do you know how he sleeps at night knowing that he lied to someone? The girl has dark rings around her eyes so at least she looks like she hasn't been sleeping for the past 10 years.

How fitting that I discovered this on the 4th of July (US Independence Day), like the universe was finally freeing me by blessing me with the answer to the one question I have been asking for the past 7 months--- WHY?

My dearest Karma, this is my plea: Please please please please put them on the top of your priority list.  I have been very very very good so I think you pretty much owe me.

I promise to be a better person. Just please grant me this request. 

Love,

Bunny

P.S.

Karma, if there's anything I can do to help you get to them quicker, let me know.
I have all the information on them you might need. Just send me an e-mail (bunnyc@gmail.com) :D