FALLING OUT

I had this dilemma which dawned on me early February and I only made sense of why I was feeling that way last week. I didn't want to write about it because I might come off as downright mean but you be the judge. Here goes nothing.

I have this friend who I have known for close to 8 years. She's a simple girl who lives a simple life but early this year, I found myself annoyed by some of the things she does.  Like when she speaks in Jejemon linggo.  A little jejemon, I can tolerate but to actually make it part of everyday conversion, I cringe! Some of you are probably saying that I should talk to her about it, but how?  How do you ask someone to stop being so...so...jejemon-ish?

It also irked me that she passed on a, what I think, was a great opportunity to earn more just because she felt she couldn't work with the schedule. She's a mother and her husband doesn't have a stable job so I know that she could really really use the added income. I also know that she wants to send her son to a much better school.

Now I feel like I'm falling out of friendship with her, and I don't like it one bit.  I've broken up with friends before but that's because they were people who brought me down, betrayed my trust or were just toxic to be around with.  She isn't any of that.

So for like a month, I kept asking myself why I was feeling that way.  Why I was nitpicking her.

And then last week, the answer came to me while I was sharing this particular problem with one of my closest friends, April.

And the answer is this: She never changed.

You see, growing up, my parents always reminded me to choose my friends.  At first I thought they were being discriminating but it didn't take very long for me to understand what they meant.  It meant that I should choose to surround myself with people who will inspire me and motivate me.  People who have a zest for life, people who are eager to learn new things and who are constantly trying to improve themselves in one way or another.

And you know what? I think I did a good job.  Looking at my closest friends now, they're all incredible.  Kookie is successfully pursuing a dream to be a make-up artist and Charo has been helping make the world a better place in her own little ways.  Then there's Bea who now runs faster than me. Hahaha!  Do you know that my friend, Carla makes her own mayo, ketchup, ice cream and peanut butter?  April is hell-bent on getting her sexy back and she's been working out like crazy.  She also designs wrapping paper.  There's Lia who makes these awesome and surprisingly good smoothies made out of raw vegetables and fruits and her twin, Mia, is a wonderful housewife who I can always count on for arts and crafts for the kids and the home.  There are a few others who I will not mention anymore but it all comes down to this:

Each of my closest friends have their own "thing". They all make the most out of life and they are continuously learning and trying new things.  Doesn't matter to me if they failed, the point is they tried. Most of all, they are genuinely good people who have been nothing but wonderful to me and Joaquin.  And yes, they also have a bit of crazy in them which makes them even more fun and interesting.  And I have to admit, sometimes scary. Hehe!

Anyhoo, so that's why I feel like I am falling out of friendship with my other friend-- because in the years I have known her, she has not changed. As in she's in the same job and she has not tried or done anything new and is refusing to improve the quality of her life. Lately, I find myself running out of things to talk about with her.  I mean, she doesn't play any sport, doesn't really read books, doesn't write, doesn't watch movies, doesn't go out with friends, doesn't have any particular interest. Snoozefest. I feel that she is complacent and mediocre, and I don't know about you but when you reach a certain age, you're pretty much sure of the kind of life you want to live and the kind of people that you want to be in it.

Don't get me wrong, I am content and happy with the life that has been given to me but that doesn't mean that I can no longer make it better. Just because I am content doesn't mean that I have given up on my dreams. I want to do more and be more while I still can.  After all, (haters gonna hate) YOLO. Hahaha!

So tell me, am I being shallow?