I have a secret.
Because it's still me. It's a reminder of my life back then and it's not that I'm living in the past-- it's just that in a way, my past is a reflection of who I am now.
I miss being able to write like that. Being able to just pour it all out. I've been trying. But, it just doesn't measure up.
You see, for as long as I can remember, writing has been my release. I'm not claiming to be a good writer ha, what I'm trying to say is that writing has always been something that comes naturally to me.
And so, in a lot of ways-- I MISS HER.
Have I become uninspired? Maybe I'm just more preoccupied now? Or have I, dare I say it--becoming BORING?
And what's funny is, the old me wasn't happy all the time. Things were always complicated, something was always going wrong. In fact, the most painful events of my life are in that blog.
And now that life isn't such a bumpy ride anymore, now that I'm happier, I can't even write. Why is that so?
"My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
Every now and then you come to mind 'Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side "-- Always on Your Side by Sheryl Crow and Sting
2 comments:
I've been thinking and working out an elaborate answer to this - but I think the best thing to say is, I like you the same way as before and today. You shouldn't worry. We all change. It happens. For as long as you don't become a horrible person, you're allright by my book, friend.
(((HUG)))
hey buns, that's funny because i have the same secret. well...not as often as you read your blog, but sometimes, a thought would come to mind, but i couldn't remember where it came from, and then couple of days later, it i would remember that it was from one of your entries like many many moons ago...in 02.
reading your posts in the beginning i felt as if i were watching an addicting show on tv; im just a reader. i am grateful for including me in your life.
i love the old you, and i love the new you. i believe you may have found some peace within that you are sailing a calmer water. you are and will always be spunky.
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