When I said the "for better or for worse" part of my wedding vow, I should have asked God, "How worse is worse?"
I'll spare you the details but,
Do you stay even when you are repeatedly being accused of cheating even when you have not done absolutely anything to make him believe so? (Hellooo, ang taba taba ko kaya! Haha!)
Do you stay even when he no longer respects you?
Do you stay even when he has done something so disrespectful, you cringe and shudder in disgust at the thought of it.
I can't. I. JUST. CAN'T. TAKE. IT. ANYMORE.
So V and I are going separate ways. This didn't end amicably. Maybe one day, we can get over this and be friends. But for now, well, now is just a different story.
People have suggested counseling but I know myself. I know that respect and trust have always been very, very important to me. They are my relationship deal-breakers. You lose one of those and it's downhill from there. And the climb back up is practically impossible.
I'm a happy person. I find things to be happy about even when I'm majorly sad. (insert song: Smile, though your heart is breaking...) I've always been very optimistic so I don't think I can still be with someone who walks around with a chip (more like a block) on his shoulder.
It's been too much. It's sad, I know. But I've had the last straw. If I don't do this for myself, my sanity is at stake.
I am finding strength in Joaquin. And knowing that my family and my friends will always always be there for me even if some of them might disagree with my decision.
So there. Somewhat relieved that the cat is out of the bag.
(And that my comments are moderated. HA!)
3 comments:
i believe i know you well enough to know and trust that your decision is well though of and consulted and worked out.
but of course i still have that pang of disappointment. (dunno if its for you and/or joaquin)
i remember before you decided to get married, we talked about the pro's and con's (i actaully dont remember what my stand was back then)
but i do now that from before until now, you always had (and have) joaquin's best interest in mind (which i will never doubt of you :)
so, while i wait for "more details"
please always keep in mind that i also have joaquin's best interest at heart and that you should never hesitate to approach me when it comes to joaquin.
and as for you young lady! (with my 2 hands under my armpits! :p hahaha!) you just keep that level headed head on your shoulders and youll be okay.
p.s. separating does not mean he is off the hook on fatherly duties, right??? dont forget that too!
hi bunny - i just read your entry.. i always saw you as a strong woman, and i know you can get past this. i know the decision you had to make was not an easy one, but when respect is lost, it's really all downhill from there. so i do think you did the right thing. hugs to you and your little one!
Hi Bunny, i'm sorry that you're having problems with V. Respect is the key word and without it, what's the point in staying? Prioritize yourself and Joaquin. I'm sure you'll pull through. Take care!
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