THURSDAY NIGHT

"I've liked you since college."
And he said that hasn't changed.  He also said that he's a little disappointed that I was married.
"I understand why that's an issue for some.", I replied.
"Bunny, ok lang saakin.  Question is, are you willing?"
"To be in a relationship? I told you that I was in one last year, right? So if it's just a question of whether or not I can be in a relationship, of course I can."
"So.."
"BUT I don't want to be in relationship right now. I don't think I can commit."
"I was thinking about that, too. In between work, law school this month and helping my brother with his partylist--if I want to be in a relationship, the girl I'm with has to be really understanding."
"So I guess we're on the same page, then. No time to commit?" 
"Uhmmm..."
"I really can't commit, CC. I can date but hanggang dun lang siguro."
"Okay. If that's what you want, that's what we'll do. We'll just date."

I just finished work and I should be going home but I felt compelled to write about this conversation because:

1. Who am I kidding?
2. Who am I fucking kidding?

Of course I want to be in a relationship.  No ifs, no buts. No time? Bullcrap.

Truth be told, no matter how busy or hard life gets, if there is one person willing to embrace me for everything that I am and accept me for everything I'm not, I would sooo take that chance. Of course, I have to be willing to do the same for that person.

I just don't like CC (Yeah, CC. Let's call him that for now). I know I don't like him because I almost never have the urge to get in touch with him or open up to him. I don't want to tell him about my work or about what's going on with my life. And if a day or two or more goes by without hearing from him, it doesn't bother me.

Ayayay.  What did I get myself into?