ADIEU, 2011!

If someone were to ask me to describe my 2011 in one word, I would have to say that it has been a year of breakthroughs.

I was very intimated by 2011.  Going into this year, my greatest fear was not being able to provide my son's needs.  But despite my fright,  I welcomed it with my game face on.  I worked harder and I accepted more tasks and responsibilities at work.

And you know what, at first I thought I wouldn't make it.  But I DID IT. I effin did it.

(to the irresponsible bozo who thought I wouldn't make it, so sorry to disappoint you. BELAT!)


I managed to send Joaquin to a great school and he still goes to therapy twice a week.  He's healthy and happy, which is really all I want him to be.

It wasn't easy and there were a lot of moments this year when I just wanted to break down, cry and disappear into oblivion, but God has never failed me.  He always finds a way to save me.  I can't count how many times I've been on the brink of giving up but indeed, God works in beautiful and mysterious ways.

So while I will always be proud of my son-- this year, I couldn't be more prouder of myself. *pats myself on the back*


That my friends, is my biggest breakthrough this year: discovering that I can do this on my own (with the love, support and help of family and friends).


And just when I thought that God couldn't love me more, he made me fall inlove pa! (parang BONUS, haha!)  And not just with anyone, but with my own bestfriend.  I had already convinced myself that it would never happen to me again, that these things don't happen to complicated women like me, but it did.  I didn't think that anyone would ever accept me--baggage, flaws and all, but J did.  It has been amazing.

As of this writing, we are still in limbo and though I'm still sad about our relationship's current condition, I will always be grateful to J for a lot of things: his friendship, love and acceptance.

J, if you're reading this, I know that the past couple of months have been confusing for the both of us.  Nevertheless, thank you for making me smile and laugh, for being responsible for this glow. I can't remember the last time I was with someone who I could completely trust.  I don't think I have ever been with anyone who I could just sit down and be quiet with and not feel uncomfortable. I think that's one of my best memories of us, sitting by the porch with my head on your shoulder, doing nothing. Whether or not we make it, please know that I am forever changed because of you and what you have shown me. I will always be by your side, for as long as you want me to. I love you so much.

This year, I believed in love again. (another breakthrough)


2011 taught me one important lesson: DON'T GIVE UP ON PEOPLE YOU LOVE.

The love I have for Joaquin and the love he showers me with was my only armor when I was was having financial difficulty this year.  When you love someone, you would do anything in your power to make sure they have everything they need.  You would do anything to make sure they are happy.

And as 2011 comes to a close, I am still afraid, but this time I'm more enthusiastic of the year that awaits.

Happy New Year to all of you :)