DEAR 2013

Dear 2013,

If you were a person, you'd look somewhat like this:

Photo from Pinterest

Okay, maybe not that skinny. But you get the picture, right?  You'd be stylish, calm, collected and poised, with your beautiful shiny wavy no-need-to-be-blowdried-hair.  And everyone would turn their head while you strut around town in your sexy stilettos without worrying about blisters on your toes or ankles at the end of the night.  You are sexy and you know it.  You are worry-free and it's true.  You are reeking of awesomeness.

Thank you for giving me so much--a lot of which I had to work really hard for (hey, give credit where credit is due!). But nevertheless, thank you for opening up so many wonderful doors for me.

Thank you for making me believe in my body and what it is capable of doing.  For giving it the confidence to finish 2 half marathons this year. For giving me the strength to continue to run and lose weight in the process. I'd like to think that this is the best I have looked in the past 7 years (please feel free to correct me if I am wrong).

This year, you taught me how to bake and while I no longer bake as often as I would like to (too much sugar is bad bad bad. Diabetes runs in my family), I am very grateful for this new skill.

You gave me a really unexpected gift this year--an opportunity to do what I have always loved--going out, meeting and talking to people. It was not something I had asked for.  I don't even recall ever hinting that I wanted it.  I thought I had gotten too old for change. I thought that that ship has sailed. But thank you for knowing better than me.  Thank you for taking me out of my comfort zone and for planting me in a job where I am always on my toes. To say that I am happy for this chance to be challenged (sometimes infuriatingly) again in my career is an understatement.

Thank you also for making me fall inlove with myself again. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun just not being in a relationship.  So much fun that I surprisingly didn't miss being in one.  I don't know if you and Karma had a conversation but it seems that this was the year dear old karma worked in my favor.

You were tough too, at times.  The biggest git this year was having to force myself to say goodbye to someone I wasn't ready to say goodbye to. You took away my Uncle Dan, my dad's brother, the only person on this earth who didn't make missing Papa so hard because he was so much like him. He was always asking me and my sisters to visit him in Baguio but we never got around to doing it.

Sigh.

Anyway...

Thank you for my family's health and for helping my son continuously improve as the days go by. He is doing very well in school, better than I had predicted, in fact.  Thank you for making us laugh, sometimes at our errors. Thank you for keeping us safe, for always keeping us together and for never failing to give us what we need.

My favorite bit about you, 2013 was the wonderful relationships (old and new) that have blossomed within your months. My family and I grow closer everyday, even when we sometimes find ourselves breathing down each other's necks from a thousand miles away. Thank you for fortifying my friendships and for teaching me to learn to let go of the ones that no longer bring me positivity.

As you draw to a close, I can only hope that 2014 brings me more joy, learning experiences and enough pain to gather strength from.

I love you, 2013. You were a very good year.

Now, on to the next one.

BREAKING UP WITH A FRIEND

A couple of years ago I stopped talking to a very good friend because in the middle of a very stressful personal situation, he hung up on me.  I texted him right after to tell him how bad I felt that he would hang up on me at a time like that and he never replied.  Not even the next day or the week after. Before I knew it, a year had already gone by.

I still think about the kind of friendship I shared with him from time to time--of what a shame it is that he would just throw it all away like that.

I got a facebook message from him this year asking me if I was still mad. I didn't reply.  A few days before Christmas, he messaged me again saying, "Advance Merry Christmas". I still didn't reply.  On Christmas day, he sends me another message greeting me a Merry Christmas.  And yep, you guessed right--I still didn't reply.

Our common friends have been asking me why I haven't bothered to reply when he is obviously reaching out. And I tell them the same thing--If he can type something as long as "Merry Christmas", I'm pretty sure "Sorry" wouldn't require so much effort.

But then again, the latter would also require lowering something he has so much of: PRIDE. And if it has to take someone 2 years to message a friend who has always been there for him, I mean, really--what kind of a friend is that?

And no, don't even get me started on the whole real-friends-don't-need-to-say-sorry crap.  Manners are manners, period.

Among all those who have done me wrong, his was the only apology I was still hoping to receive.  And I guess that's one of the reasons why I never unfriended him on Facebook. But, well.

They say life gets easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.  And looking back at the 2 years that we haven't been friends, I have gotten by very well.  I almost had the urge to call him a couple of nights ago and ask him out for drinks.  Just to thank him for reaching out.  But mostly to remind him why we are no longer friends, to let him know how awful I felt that day he abandoned me by hanging up on me in the midst of my distress. Just to let him know for one final time that so much time has passed and that I don't think we can ever be friends again, ever.

After all, time heals all wounds and as of date, the wounds I have incurred from that fateful day have already turned into scars--scars which I can no longer even see, unless I look very, very closely.

Maybe I should just send him this entry, noh?

MUST BE THE MEDICINE TALKING

I'm down with the flu. I don't even know how I managed to work today feeling like this.

I have a 38-degree temp, I've got the chills, my entire body is aching and on top of that, I have cough, colds and a sore throat. 

Damn this flu. 

And this may be the NyQuil talking but I suddenly wish I had a man to take care of me. 

Even just for tonight. 

I've been meaning to write.  Believe me, I've tried several times only to find myself frustratingly unsatisfied with what I wrote so I select all, delete and log out.  I think I've forgotten how to write but then again, I am not a writer and at the rate I'm going, I never will be.

Some days, I visit my old blog and start to wonder: Where is She?

I used to be able to write about how I felt without caring about what other people thought. I threw caution to the wind by typing whatever it was my heart was saying, no holds barred. These days, I find myself screening what I have to say, worrying about who might stumble upon this little page.  The world is too small, and the Philippines--even smaller.  But let's be realistic, I don't even think anyone still comes here.  I don't think anyone really gives a shit.

Oh, but I do.  Before Joaquin, writing has always been the one thing that kept me sane.  I've kept a journal (offline and online) for as long as I can remember.  Putting my thoughts, no matter how personal, into words most of the time gave me the enlightenment I needed.  And I do need some right now.

Let's get to it, shall we?

I've been putting so much pressure upon myself at work that a few weeks ago I found myself asking if it was worth leaving my comfort zone for this. When you're in sales, it's all about the network you keep and since I was in the BPO industry for 8.5 years prior to this job, the only network I have are all overseas. I'm starting from scratch and I'm at the bottom of the barrel again.  I used to be a big fish in a pond and now I am plankton in the deep blue sea.  All things considering, I'm kind of amazed at how many clients I have managed to contact and meet all on my own.  What drives me to be better and really excel is my belief in our product and my faith in my bosses.  Wish me luck, guys.

I'm still not seeing anyone as of the moment and I don't think I'm ready to get back on the dating horse just yet.  However, my friends have been encouraging me to try online dating.  Against my better judgement, I am now a registered member of a couple of dating sites and I have also downloaded a dating app.  And just as I predicted, still no luck.  There were a couple of promising ones but conversations suddenly became boring and one of them started sending me photos of his torso and underwear. Blocked him. Silver lining: these matching sites have added humor to my daily life.

I don't mean to be mean, but there must have been a whackjob of a woman out there who told men that women want to see shirtless photos of them. Forgivable if they had abs, but believe me, 80% of the half-naked photos I have seen, do not have a single trace of washboard abs on them.  There was even a shirtless guy in a freaking cowboy hat!  And he's Asian! Why oh why oh why oh why oh why?

So anyway, I have to go.  I'm as low bat as my laptop is right now (10%).  Went to a friend's party last night, indulged in a little too much merlot, came home at 3am and woke up at 7am with a hangover from hell.

Goodnight.

The first words that came out of my mouth when I woke up last Saturday were, "What the f!@% was that?".

I dreamt about someone from my past, someone I haven't seen or heard from in 2-3 years.

It gets freakier.

I was having coffee at our patio when he texts me.  And the next thing I knew, he was already having coffee with me.

There's so much (so much is an understatement) history between me and this guy and there's no way I would ever even consider going back.  It was nice seeing him again but I also found myself hating the fact that despite no communication for so long, it was still so easy and comfortable to talk to him.


Most parts of this song say how I feel about this whole blast from the past incident.

"Even If I Don't"
Rachael Yamagata

I miss you most in the morning
Most every morning
I wake up thinking
I could call
I could come visit
I could come running
We could relive it

But when I think of all that we've been through
Going back to you
Seems such a foolish thing to do
I hope you know
That even if I don't
I wanted to

All those words
You said at the ending
Were pretty revealing
And I can't forget them
All those ways
We missed at connecting
Despite all our trying
It always came back to
What I couldn't give you

So when I think of starting up again
Or trying to be friends
It seems impossible to do
I hope you know
That even if we can't
I wanted to
Who knows why
Two people perfectly aligned
Should ever have to find themselves apart
I'll never understand my heart
I miss you
Most in the morning
Most every morning
I wake up crying

Whenever people ask me how I'm finding my new job, I always say that I am not having fun--yet.

IT'S BEEN CRAZY!

I am almost never at the office.  My days are booked with meetings and client presentations, minimum 2 a day.  I sent an email to my sales team last Thursday asking them not to set any appointments on Friday afternoons so we can all meet and talk about what happened during the week and what our goals are for the coming week.  My skin is breaking out, I'm not used to wearing make-up everyday.  Gladly, my feet have gotten used to running in heels.

The upside of all this is, I'm meeting so many great people face-to-face.  My old job entailed talking to different people too, but it's usually just over the phone (as my clients were mostly abroad).  I am also learning so much from my colleagues who actually work for the other subsidiaries but have been helping out with the project.  Although I feel like I am still walking on eggshells with the people I work with, I am slowly warming up to them. Just the other day, I had a laugh out loud moment with my boss in the pantry and she jokingly slapped me on the arm.

I also had a one-day crush on someone at the office but I found out he's married after I stalked his Facebook (Dear Married Men, please wear your wedding rings!). No way in hell I'm going that road. What's funny is that I had a couple of friends over for drinks last week and I was telling them about this guy and they asked to see a picture.  When I showed it to them, one of them said "Oh Shit, it's ____!".  Turns out one-day crush is my friend's brother's bestfriend.  The world is too small.

Also, I finally got to take advantage of the cheap beer at work.  In all my years of working, I have never left the office buzzed, until yesterday.

I guess that's it. I'm sorry my life has been so blah.  Pray it gets more exciting in the coming months, yes?

Ciao!

ES EM CEE

I started my new job last Monday and it has been one hell of a week--in a good way. 

I'm really excited about our product which we will formally launch in September. In a nutshell, it's going to change the way you  pay for products and services, and manage your money. 

I've been in back-to-back meetings all week and just this morning, my new boss appointed me to work with our contact center in forming our helpdesk group. It isn't really a part of the job I signed up for but I am more than happy to do it because it's an industry I am very familiar and still comfortable with. 

The travel time to and from work has surprisingly been manageable (average 45mins). As soon as I drop Joaquin off at school, I head to my office in Ortigas (although technically, it's in Mandaluyong). I always arrive at least 45 minutes early which gives me ample time to have coffee and spend time by myself. 

I cannot be more relieved that it's Friday tomorrow. I miss baking. My mom recently sent me and Joaquin cookie cutters for every shape imaginable, baking pans (I finally have decent baking pans, whoopee!) and a really cool dessert decorator. We will put those to good use this weekend. 

This is where I work now, by the way. For those of you in the Philippines, the building should be familiar. Joaquin loves that I now work for the company that makes his favorite hotdogs. On the other hand, I'm thrilled to be working for the company that makes my favorite beer. Haha! (Our canteen sells beer after 6pm, how cool is that?)

That is all, for now. Will update soon! Toodles! 

BEEN BUSY

I've been busy.

It's my last week at work so the past couple of weeks have been spent turning over everything to my colleague.

I also went to my new employer yesterday for a meeting and everything looks promising. I officially start working for them on Monday and I am very very excited!

I wish I could share more on my new job and I am itching to write about it, but I have to keep mum until we launch.

P.S.
My 2nd half marathon turned out okay. I can't say it was great because I was undertrained. I'm just glad I finished at a decent time and I kept my pace all throughout.

Joaquin took this photo of me when I got home. He insisted I hold my medal.

 

MOVING FORWARD

A very good and wise friend told me that you can't move forward without leaving something behind. 

I wrote my resignation letter today crying. I couldn't even muster the courage to hand it to my boss, so I left it at her desk before I left work.  After 9 years, I'm leaving a company filled with people who matter to me. 

I am sad and excited all at the same time. 

BAHALA NA SI BATMAN!

I am running another 21K tomorrow.   Unlike my first half marathon, I didn't have enough time to train for this as I only found out I was doing this last week. 

This was originally my boss' and her husband's race kits but they suddenly had to schedule an out of town trip last week and they suddenly convinced me to run using their race kits.  So I coerced my friend, April to run with me. She was the one who took me to my first 5K and I want to be the one to take her to her first 21K. 

Of course I want to beat my previous time but like I said, there was not enough time to train, so I'm putting my fate in tomorrow's race in Batman's hands. Bahala na siya!

THE OFFER

Oh God, oh God, oh God.

I'm in a bit of a bind.  A good one. But still, a bind.

Last week, a friend of mine called me and told me about a job opening in a new subsidiary of one of the Top 10 5 corporations in the Philippines and she said, "E-mail me your resume now. No ifs, not buts."

And just for the heck of it, I did.

A few hours later, they called and scheduled an interview between me and the daughter of the CEO.

And the interview went really great.  So great that I was assured they were making an offer.

To tell you the absolute truth, prior to the job interview, I didn't have plans of leaving my current employer.  I just wanted to shop around, see how much I was worth.

Apparently, I am worth more.  I received a call from their HR person a couple of nights ago and she discussed the offer with me and while I was not astounded, it was still an offer I will not refuse.

Normal 9-6, Monday to Friday schedule, exciting product, super stable company, wonderful allowances. The only setback is the office is in Pasig but I have a gas allowance which will more than make up for it.

I don't know how to tell my boss.  I'm scared of what she will say, what she will think.

Please pray it all goes well.

RECIPE: RED VELVET CAKE

Oh my gosh!

Those were the first words out of my mouth after I had a forkful of this cake.

A friend came over for coffee and I served her a slice and as soon as she took a bite, she smiled and her eyes widened at the same time, and then she gave me a hug.  There were no words needed.

I had some issues with the frosting though and will probably never make 7-minute icing again until they rename it to 20-minute icing (or maybe the recipe I followed was just wrong--but it was Martha Stewart's!).  While the frosting was good, I was not able to get the ala-marshmallow icing texture I wanted.

Regardless, this is HANDS DOWN, the best red velvet cake I have tried because it is super moist.  And yes, I am making this again but since I'm out of red food coloring, I will make a blue velvet or green velvet next time.

And because I'm super duper nice, I'm sharing the recipe with you.

RED VELVET CAKE 

Ingredients:

2 cups all purpose flour

• 1 teaspoon of baking soda
• 1 teaspoon of baking powder
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• 2 Tablespoon of unsweetened, cocoa powder
• 2 cups sugar
• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup buttermilk (if you don't have buttermilk, this replacement worked for me)
• 2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
• 1-2 oz. red food coloring
• 1 teaspoon of white distilled vinegar
• ½ cup of prepared plain hot coffee (this is the secret ingredient so please do not skip it!)

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 325.
2. 
   
3. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, cocoa powder and salt. Set aside.
4. 
   
5. In a large bowl, combine the sugar and vegetable oil (I used palm oil). Mix in the eggs, buttermilk, vanilla and red food coloring until combined.
6. 
   
7. Stir in the coffee and white vinegar.
8. 
   
9. Combine the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients a little at time, mixing after each addition, just until combined.
10. 
    
11. Generously grease and flour two round cake pans with butter and flour.
12. 
    
13. Pour the batter evenly into each pan.
14. 
    
15. Bake in the middle rack for 30-40 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Do not over bake as cake will continue to cook as it cools.
16. 
    
17. Let cool on a cooling rack until the pan are warm to the touch.
18. 
    
19. Slide a knife or offset spatula around the inside of the pans to loosen the cake from the pan.
20. 
    
21. Remove the cakes from the pan and let them cool.
22. 
    
23. Start frosting when the cakes have cooled completely.

Cream cheese frosting would be best for this cake but I didn't have cream cheese last weekend.  But if you do, here's a recipe:

Ingredients

• 16oz  cream cheese, softened
• ¼ cup milk, may need more
• 1 stick butter, softened
• 2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 4 cups powdered sugar

Instructions

1. Add softened cream cheese into large bowl.
2. 
   
3. Pour in milk, butter and vanilla extract.
4. 
   
5. Mix until well combined.
6. 
   
7. Pour in half of the powdered sugar. Mix until combined.
8. 
   
9. Add the remaining powdered sugar. Mix until smooth and fluffy.
10. 
    
11. Use a spatula to scrape down the side of the bowl if needed.

HAPPY WEEKEND!

COLOR DASH 5K

It was sometime last week when I saw a deal on Ensogo for the Color Dash run.  They slashed 50% off from the Php650 registration fee.  So I sent a message to my village friends asking them if they wanted to join and I ended up buying 9 vouchers for us.

We were all pretty psyched because the Color Dash is similar to India's Holi Festival, where you are showered with colored powder.  How it's supposed to work is, you get sprayed/showered/doused with different colors in each kilometer.

That was not the case with this run.  They had 2 buckets filled with powder at each stop (not even each kilometer) and you have to get your own powder, unless you want to rely on the couple of manongs manning the stop to rub the powder on your back. So disappointing. We felt terrible for those who paid the full amount for the run.

As with life, when a letdown sets in, you just need to make the most out of the situation.  And that was what my friends and I did. Despite the poorly-organized race, we had loads of fun!

This was how excited we were for the run.

We made tutus!

And yes, even our guy friend had to wear one

I also got to run with my sister, Marby. Last time we ran together was 2009!

Color me bad

                                             

And did I mention that it rained towards the end of the run, which washed away what little color we had. Boo!

Team Tutu, fight!

TICK TOCK

I went to see an OB-Gyne (not my personal OB, but someone who was an affiliate of my health insurance) yesterday for my annual pap smear.  She says everything down there looks fine and then I mentioned that I felt a sharp pain before my last period so she decided to also give me a transvaginal ultrasound.

OB: This is your uterus, and that's your cervix, looks healthy and clean.  This is your left ovary and this is the right one. Ang ganda ng ovaries mo! See the follicles? You have plenty! Those will turn into eggs.  You can still have many babies.
Me: Uhmm, until what age can I get pregnant?
OB: 35.
Me: Ha? I only have 1 year?
OB: 34 ka na ba?
Me: Yes.  What happens after 35?
OB: You can still get pregnant after 35 but you'll be more prone to a high risk pregnancy.

Hear that?

Yep. That is the sound of my reproductive system ticking.

I can't imagine life without my sisters. When Papa passed away and when Mama moved to the US, life was easier because I had my sisters. Back when I was younger, my sister Marby and I would always cover for each other. And even now that we don't live together anymore, that bond has never been broken.

I want Joaquin to have the same remarkable bond with a sibling.  Maybe I'm being too hard on myself when I say this, but I would feel like somewhat of a failure if I cannot give Joaquin a sibling.

And I only have one freaking year, if I want a worry-free pregnancy, that is.

Well I'm pretty darn sure it's not happening this year.  And besides, I'm not yet desperate enough to do the deed with just anyone.  I want it to be with someone who I'm inlove with--unless of course, your name is Ryan Gosling, in which case, PLEASE, i-dirty dancing mo ako before you impregnate me.

But you know, God has a plan.  And I have always trusted that His plans are good.  So if He feels that I am destined to only have Joaquin, that is fine, for as long as He gives my son friends like mine. Because the friends I keep, are very much like family to me.

(KIND OF) THE STORY OF MY LIFE

It's been a long time since I've heard a song with lyrics this good.  And if you've ever loved someone who has chosen a person who constantly hurts them over you, you'll cry while listening to this.

     

Bright Lights and Cityscapes

by Sara Bareilles

Hold my breath and I'll count to ten

I'm the paper and you're the pen

You fill me in and you are permanent

And you'll leave me to dry

I'm the writer and she's the muse

I'm the one that you always choose

She will falter and gift her blame

And it's starts all over again

Again again again

She is bright lights and cityscapes

And white lies and cavalcades

And she'll take all you ever have

But I'm gonna love you

You say maybe it'll last this time

But I'm gonna love you

You never have to ask

I'm gonna love you

'Til you start looking back

I'm gonna love you

So right

I wouldn't need a second chance

Shield your eyes from the truth at hand

Tell me why it'll be good again

All those demons are closing in

And I don't want you to burn

Never mind what I said before

I don't want any less anymore

You are carbon and I am flame

I will rise and you will

Remain

For bright lights and cityscapes

And landslides and masquerades

And she'll take all you ever have

But I'm gonna love you

You say, "Maybe it'll last this time"

But I'm gonna love you

You never have to ask

I'm gonna love you

'Til you start looking back

I wouldn't need a second chance

I wouldn't need a second chance

I wouldn't need a second chance

I wouldn't need a second chance

WHY I LOVE TO COOK

Let's start with the how.

I can't recall how many times I've been asked how I learned to cook.  I always answer and say that my mom made sure I knew how to cook. She would require me to help in the kitchen every Sunday.

But the truth is, my dad played a really big part in it, too.

You see, my dad is a midnight snacker.  There can only be 3 reasons why he would wake me up in the middle of the night:

1. He brought home food and my sisters and I have to eat with him. (most of the time, Savory chicken from Binondo)

2. He needs me to dress up because we are going out to eat. (we usually end up at some hole-in-the-wall restaurant in China Town or Malate)

3. He needs me to cook.

I loved 1 and 2.  I did not like #3.

Because, man, my dad is picky about food.  He'd give me instructions on what to do and if I did it wrong, I would be doomed. He's my Gordon Ramsay and I am a contender in Hell's Kitchen.  I once served him overcooked scrambled eggs and he sent me back to the kitchen to do it all over again (and I had to eat those overcooked eggs). Why was his steak well done when he wanted it medium well? Why was I serving him hotdogs and no ketchup?  He was strict about food that way.  But it was through these late night trips to the kitchen that I learned what goes well with what, and how certain food should be prepared.

It's been 8 years since my dad passed away and among the thousands of things I miss about him, it's cooking for him and sharing a meal with him that I miss the most.

Joaquin never got to meet my dad but it seems like he is a lot like him.  They have the same temper, they both (and I do this, too) like lying down in bed with their legs "de kwatro" (a Filipino term for crossed legs), and they both love eating a second dinner late at night.

At least 3 nights a week, when my son and I are in bed, he would suddenly sit up and say "Mama, I'm hungry. Let's go downstairs.".  I would try to get out of it by saying that it's time for bed and I'm tired and sleepy but then he would say, "But I'm hungry. My tummy is owie."  And what kind of mother would I be if I let my son sleep starving?

If there's food leftover from dinner, then we just heat it up but most nights, I find myself cooking instant noodles or frying hotdogs and I would watch my little boy eat with gusto.  It is when I watch Joaquin eat that I remember Papa and how he would smile while eating and say "Sarap, anak! Pwede na tayo magtayo ng restaurant.".  I remember how hearing those compliments would be music to my ears because as a daughter, and this goes for I think anyone, there is a certain euphoria from getting your parent's approval and hearing them give you high praises.

And that is why I love to cook.  Aside from the fact that I love to eat, cooking brings me memories of Papa waking me up in the middle of the night because he's hungry.  It is the memory of Mama summoning me to the kitchen every Sunday and teaching me recipes.  And now I'm raising a little boy who I hope will remember the tender moments we spend in the kitchen table late at night, talking and eating.

Of course, when Joaquin is a little older, probably in a couple of years, I will have to teach him to cook as well, so I can be like my dad. Hehe!

FULL MONTY: THE MUSICAL

And just like that, it's Friday.

I've been meaning to write about Full Monty since I saw it Sunday night with Charo, Kookie and Bea, but work and other personal matters got in the way.

Like I always say, better late than never.

The film is on my list of favorite movies so when my cousin told me they were doing a musical, there was no doubt in my head that I was going to watch.  Even after I found out that Mark Bautista was playing the lead, I still wanted to see it.

Did I enjoy it? I sooo did.  Here are my yays and nays:

YAY! :)
1. They actually did the full monty.
2. They actually did the full monty.
3. They actually did the full monty.
4. It was very entertaining and I found myself throwing my head back laughing.
5. OJ Mariano's acting skills and his sweet, tender voice
6. Nino Alejandro's voice
7. I loved the assisted suicide song, "A Big Ass Rock". (This was also the only song throughout the musical that stuck with me)
8. Ima Castro's strong vocals
9. Jamie Wilson was effortless.

NAY :(
1. Mark Bautista's line execution.
2. Mark Bautista's voice.
3. Ciara Sotto's diction. El terrible!
4. Sitti Navarro's bland performance.
5. Arnell Ignacio
6. Marco Sison

Despite the flaws, I still recommend that you see it--not just for the bare-it-all finale but also because a few parts are just hilarious and poignant and has a lot of heart.  Go watch it with your girlriends and/or gay friends.  It's going to be a blast, I promise.

Full Monty runs till May 4.  If you want tickets to this Saturday's show, please text Ianne at 0917-8617978. You can also call Atlantis Production at 892-7078 or Ticketworld at 891-9999.

33: THE YEAR I GOT MY GROOVE BACK

I spent a good part of last night reading my entries and going through photos since my last birthday and I have to say that my 33rd year on this earth was the year I got my groove back.

This was the year I started working out again.

I started circuit training

The Plank

I tried TRX (not easy at all),

did muay thai for a couple of months, 

tried Zumba (what fun!)

ran in a 10k race

 and even learned how to use a gun.

And let's not forget that I ran my first half marathon.

Then there's also how I finally got over my previous relationship middle of last year after I found out I was played and lied to.  In the process, I've had to end my friendship with a number of people, including someone who I considered very, very close to me.  I have forgiven them but I no longer want to be friends, ever.

Joaquin and I also got to go on a lot of beach trips this year.

Camaya Coast in Bataan

Caramoan (yes, again!)

This time with our friends and their kids in tow. We can't wait to go back.

Carbin Reef, Bacolod

 and Tali Beach, Batangas

The Lord blessed my family with 2 new babies to love like crazy!

Renzo

and Jaico

One of the highlights of my 33rd year was getting to spend time with my mom and being reunited with my Tita Virgie. She jumpstarted by love for reading by buying me my first Archie comics and Nancy Drew when I was 7.

The Mothership

And if you've been a long time reader of this blog, you know I've been cooking and baking a lot.

Career-wise, I received high marks during my annual performance evaluation and my boss has talked to me about their plans for me at work and the good possibility of a promotion soon.

Remember that quote from Ally Mcbeal that goes, "If you think back and replay your year, if it doesn't bring you tears either of joy or sadness, consider the year wasted."?

I can recall how I welcomed my 33rd birthday with a very broken heart.  But that's the the thing about pain--the physical kind will hurt you but the other kind will change you. Now whether it's for better or for worst, that's really up to you.

As for me, year 33 taught me that sometimes, the wrong choices we make lead us to where we were really meant to be.  Like I was riding the bus of life and I got off at the wrong stop but ended up finding something better than where I was planning on going.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I know that we only get 1 birthday wish and mine is that Joaquin gets better.  It has and will always be my fervent prayer.  There is absolutely nothing I want more than my son being able to overcome his autism. My mom always reminds me to pray and to continue to believe in miracles. And I do. But if the Lord could grant me just one more birthday wish, and I know that this is also most of my friends' wish for me-- it's that I find someone who will accept me, make me happy and will always choose me over any other girl.

But I'm really in no rush. I like my life the way it is now.  I do have moments though--moments where I miss having someone to just talk to about my day.  But in general, I'm doing pretty great without a love life. So God, if you're listening, no pressure :)

And THANK YOU for such a wonderful life!

HOW MY 34TH BIRTHDAY WENT DOWN

I turned 34 yesterday and as far as birthdays go, yesterday was just wonderful.

A few hours before midnight, my friends took me to Rue Bourbon so I could fulfill my craving for their caramel beer in a big ass mug.

It was a little close to midnight and I had finished more than half of my beer when my friends started chanting "Birthday shot! Birthday shot!". I declined and said that the beer was more than enough but they insisted.  A few minutes later, the clock struck 12 and the waitress came out with 4 glasses, 1 was filled with a blue concoction and the other was half-filled with something that smelled like tequila (later on, I found out it was Bacardi 151).  After giving me a straw, she put one glass on top of another until it looked like a tower, poured the Bacardi from the top and lit it.  While the whole thing was aflame, she started sprinkling the flames with ground cinnamon which made the tower spark.  It was mesmerizing.  And then she said, "Game Ma'm! Drink!", and so I did.

It didn't taste as bad as it looked.  (I don't like drinking anything blue. Yes, even gatorade.)

Rue Bourbon's Flaming Lamborghini: Not for the faint of liver

I knew my boss was going to bake me a cake, but I didn't know it was going to be this cute.  It was also sooo good, my sister has asked me to ask my boss for the recipe.  My boss also gave me a pair of running shorts that she hopes I would wear when I have the confidence to run in only my sports bra. Haha!

My sister, my friend and the kids (Joaquin, my nephew Gabe and my friend's son, Xavi)  picked me up at work for early dinner at Parmigiano in Newport.

Me: What's your gift for Ninang?
Gabe: My love.

Before bed last night, my little boy embraced me and sang "Happy Birthday" in my ear.  And I embraced him and prayed that God gives me more and more years to be with my son.

P.S.
Thanks for all the greetings on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!

I OWE YOU A BIRTHDAY POST

THE GIFT THAT GIVES

Maybe I say this too often but I can't seem to say it enough:  I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who have good hearts.

I wasn't able to write about this but last November, Joaquin had a small birthday party at an orphanage inside our village.  Since December was coming, I decided to ask each of the kids what they wanted for Christmas.  I sent the list to my family, co-workers and friends (online and offline) via facebook and email, and in less than a week, each kid had a "Santa". On top of that, diapers, milk and rice donations started pouring in.

On the day of the Christmas Party I prepared for the kids of St. Mary's Home, this was how the back of my car looked like. And this sight made me cry buckets. So much love packed at the back of my car.

A few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with a good friend who is based in Singapore.  Our birthdays are just a couple of days apart and she wanted to know what my plans were and if I could help her donate a chunk of her birthday money to St. Mary's Home. Why of course! Told her that I could also organize a small birthday party for the both of us with the kids. I mentioned that I would also like to help a Home for the Elderly and she agreed.

I sent her a message today to tell her that I already spoke to the nun in charge of the home for the aged and that she asked me to call her back tonight.  My friend replies and says that she wired the birthday money to my account.

She sent me 20 freaking thousand pesos. 

This was how our chat conversation went:

Me: ANG LAKI!

Friend: haha sakto lang yan, may nareceive din kasi akong bonus

Me: aaww, napressure ako sayo! Hahaha!

Friend: Ano ka ba, mas mahirap gagawin mo. Ako nagbigay lang. Ikaw magaayos.

Me: Mahirap ba mag-shopping at mag-party? HINDI ATA!

Friend: Mahirap saakin yan!

Me: Tag team talaga tayo forever!

God is good, life is good.  It's going to be a great birthday.

This is Matthew, one of the kids of St. Mary's Home. I can't wait to see him and the others again!

Conversations with Joaquin

The little boy saw me drinking my meds tonight.

Joaquin: Mama, you're still sick? What happened in the office today?
Me: I worked.
Joaquin: Coz you work too fast. Next time, if you're sick, you go home early and drink medicine.

Yes, boss. ❤

ANONG LEVEL KA NA?

I share a room with my boss and we were both very quiet this afternoon minding our own business. So you can imagine my surprise when she suddenly yelled with both arms raised,

Boss: Finally! I've been stuck in that level for a few days na!
Me: A-ha! So anong level ka na sa Candy Crush?

HAHAHAHA!

Eh ikaw, anong level ka na? Ako, 92.

I LOVE VICKS

The bad news: I have really bad cough and colds.

The good news: I've never sounded sexier. 

(The other bad news: I have no one to talk to sexy to.)

I have been sick since Sunday and on Monday I woke up with no voice.  It was so bad that I had to send this email to my client who I had a concall with that morning:

I left work early on Monday because I felt awful and when I got home, I remembered a forwarded email my mom sent me last year about rubbing the soles of your feet with Vicks Vaporub and then covering them with socks  for cough relief.  I was a little skeptical but hey, if it will help me sleep thought the night, it's probably worth a shot.

Before bed, I drank some Nyquil, rubbed vicks on feet, put on my socks and rubbed some more vicks on my chest and went to bed.  I slept like a baby.  Did it really work? Maybe it was the Nyquil that made me doze off.

So I tried it again last night, sans Nyquil.

I still slept like a bear.  It works, guys.  And I did some googling this morning and it worked for other people, too. Yay for Vicks!

Here are 12 other surprising uses for Vicks Vaporub.

Now, if I could just get better by Friday because I am running in Rip The Road's 3rd leg on Sunday.

Enjoy the rest of the week!

THE DREAM

My dream is to be able to run wearing only my sports bra and running shorts. If I continue to run 3-4 times a week, I think I'll be gutsy enough to live that dream in a few more months. Yes?

P.S.
Another dream is to completely quit smoking. Oh well, baby steps.